after 3+ years on tumblr this is still the most relevant accurate thing i’ve ever seen
I like drinking coffee alone, and reading alone.
I like riding the bus alone, and walking home alone.
It gives me time to think, and set my mind free.
I like eating alone, and listening to music alone.
But when I see a mother with her child;
A girl with her lover;
Or a friend laughing with their best friend;
I realize that even though I like being alone
I don’t fancy being lonely.
You are so used to your features, you don’t know how beautiful you look to a stranger.
cuddling is so perfect when you think about it because you get really close to someone you love and it’s like saying “hey human, theres a lot of humans in the world but you’re my human and i love you”
So I accidentally said, “my crotch has a hole in it.” Instead of “my pants have a hole in them.” And this guy looked me dead in the eyes and whispered
"It’s called a vagina."
Reboot People of Walmart so instead of creepshots making fun of fat people it’s like Humans of New York. Go around Walmarts asking people philosophical questions I guarantee it’ll be funnier and just as interesting
ppl be like “weird al has returned” like he left or s/t
weird al never leaves
he is a constant force in this world
you might not hear about him for a while, a few months, a couple years
but he’s always here, and has never left
he doesn’t return. he rises.